Sometimes, it's because they're only focused on having sex, but sometimes they haven't come out yet and are still struggling with their sexuality.
I would have been happy to meet in public, but a lot of guys on these sites only want to meet at their place. When I was 17, I arranged a date with this guy, but when I arrived at his place, there were a bunch of other guys there all taking speed. Not at first, but I quickly learned my lesson. When you went on dates, did you tell anyone where you were going? But I was very careful and only started dating once I was living on my own. I was living in a small town and it wasn't really possible. Some have even offered me money to have sex with them. Just lots of older men talking to me in a sexually aggressive way. What was your experience like on these websites? At the time, some family members and good friends knew I was gay, but I didn't know a lot of gay guys that I could date. Jasper: I was 16, and it felt like my only way of connecting with the gay scene. But that experience made me realize I needed to talk about what I was up to-and ever since then, I've always told someone where I'll be. At the time, I felt so ashamed about my sexuality I didn't dare say anything. It was the second time I had met up with him, but he suddenly started behaving weirdly so I eventually had to sneak out. This other time, when I was 19, a guy locked his front door while we were inside. I was so shocked and left as soon as I could. When I told this one date who was in his late 20s that I didn't feel comfortable anymore, he ignored what I was saying and kept on touching me. What were some of those experiences like? For me, it lead to some very bad experiences dating older men. I don't think these kinds of sites are safe enough for gay teenagers. I soon noticed that the chats were mainly focused on sex and there was also a lot of drug dealing going on.
But even though I was a bit scared, I created an online profile using my real name and photo because I figured that anyone who found me there had to be gay as well. I hadn't come out yet and I didn’t want to go to local gay spots. VICE: When was your first time on a gay dating site?